Loving-Kindness redux & self-assessment

I decided to do the full loving-kindness practice again before I did the universal loving-kindness practice. Wow, I could not believe the different experience with the full loving-kindness practice. It was like an awakening! I am easily able to follow this practice completely now. It was an amazing feeling once I learned how to absorb and then remove suffering from others.

If it were not for the fact that I have done the video version, I would have had a very hard time remembering and keeping focus on the written universal version, and it took a bit to memorize the universal loving-kindness practice. I think this might be an line of personal growth that revealed itself. It was only a few related lines. My mind was too cluttered with other thoughts to maintain focus. So I did have a little bit of trouble getting it down, and it took several tries before I was successful.   I did feel a sense of calmness and my spirit was uplifted.

I ran into problems this week with a terrible stomach bug. Thought at first it was food poisoning, but it hung in there for a few days. What an inopportune time for that to happen, with so much to do this week. I am normally overwhelmed with everything in my life, so this was a set-back for me. Everything seemed to be a struggle as I felt the pressure to get things finished before Tuesday. I found it very hard to stay focused when not feeling well. This an an area of development I must work on. With regards to my self-assessment, I have been outwardly aware of a few things this week. They are related to negative emotions, such as anxiety, frustration, anger, and the stress that takes it all in. This involves lines within the interpersonal quadrant, but because weakness in this area makes me prone to biological problems, I need work in those lines as well. Had I been more developed in this area I would not have even gotten that bug in the first place. Its a downhill slide. When I did the assessment exercise, I found that I was able to focus more on those lines. Since it was important to focus on only one line, my consciousness helped me lean towards those interpersonal lines. That area is ready for development! Emotions are one of the biggest problems that make people sick, and by feeling overwhelmed all the time, I am setting myself up for disaster. I also realize that psychospiritual development is crucial to all other practices and the integral process itself. So emotions are the line that I must begin with. Once they are under good control I can do a reassessment and see what else becomes evident...

There are several things I can do to focus on my interpersonal lines and develop my psychosocial quadrant. I am going to a T'ai Chi session next week, and I am taking time for mindful meditation. Meditation is what helps me still my mind, and I need to further develop my witnessing consciousness. Here is where the loving-kindness and subtle mind practices are so relevant, and I intend to practice both frequently. The more I do them, the faster I can develop love and compassion for others, and remove those unwanted thoughts cluttering my mind. Just saying that really bothers me, because I have always thought I was so empathetic to others, but I guess that is different than helping them to heal.  I also need to exercise more. Now that the brutal summer heat is passing, I can get out and start walking again. I find walking to be a total stress reliever all on its own. Once I incorporate meditation into my walks, they will be even more meaningful.