Meeting Aesclecpius

I know that I have a lot to do this week. Each class has a ton of reading, projects, exercises, postings, or a blog. I am feeling a lot of pressure. My home is a wreck, my office is a wreck, and I am a wreck. So it could be why I had such a hard time meeting Aesclepius. The first problem I had was finding a wise person to focus on. I went back three times to the beginning to try and stay focused on one person.  I kept thinking of other possible people, and analyzed everyone I had chosen. I decided that they may have been brilliant people, but not necessarily wise. To me, this was an important distinction. I have been very fortunate to be around a few genius people, but that did not mean that they developed an inner conscious. So I finally just imagined a wise healer throughout the rest of the practice. Then I was alright for the rest of the exercise, but was still fidgety. I remained with this practice until the end. I can say is that I felt lighter, but not necessarily wiser, and my speech did not seem to have improved either. Okay, I am being funny. I know that this is only a practice, and I have a ton of evolving to do. My mind was still racing around to other things, but I felt better, go figure. I had first imagined a beam of light shooting into me, first my head, then my neck, and finally my heart. I decided that I did not care for the light to be shooting at me, so I made it softer; a gentle cloud of energy that surrounded each area until it covered my entire body like a cloud. Then I imagined the light entering my cells and organ systems. It was calming, and perhaps that is why I felt lighter once finished. I can clearly see why integral practice is such an individualized process, and once I started doing these practices I understood how evolutionary it truly is.

There is no doubt that as I continue integral practice that mindfulness and meditation is furthering my psychospiritual development. After last week's revelation that I am dealing with stress-related emotions, I have already begun to act in a calmer manner. meditation does that for me. There is greater awareness when I collide with a daily stressor, and I have been reframing them as each encounter seems to melt away. Then I laugh at the miracle I just created for myself. I was under so much pressure today, but managed to get my work done and cheerfully get home in time for my first class. I wrote down the universal loving-kindness practice, and referred to it when needed. I also breathed my way out of a few bad thoughts as well. I think these coping practices are creating positive change for me, because I feel better and stronger from within.

I also feel more intuitive, and am viewing people differently. I feel a greater connectedness with those I encounter in my daily life.  I find that I now have a critical awareness with others that is similar to my reaction during the Aesclepius practice. It is not an intentional criticism, but I am sensing their pain and suffering. I believe that I can better feel and "see" the stress in their lives, the anxiety, the anger, depression, you name it. It almost seems that every time I meditate that I am feeling more receptive and perceptive to the feelings to others. I want to ease their suffering and make their lives better. This is a paradoxical situation, because I have a lot of learning to do before I can be of service to others, yet I am feeling their pain. Could this be what is known as compassion? I did have success last week with my practices, but I am still taking baby steps. In any event, I feel spiritually uplifted when I can be of service to others, and it takes away much of the mindless clutter that keeps coming along.

Ken Wilber coined the quote "One cannot lead another where one has not gone himself". We simply cannot follow a model of integral healing to be able to practice it. We may as well maintain the reductionist and cook-booked practice of Western medicine. We do have an obligation to our patients if we want them to  flourish, but it takes a trained mind to do it. There must be meaning in our work.  Even if we are caring and compassionate, the entire life experience needs to develop to accomplish the feat of calling ourselves a healer. Integral healing impacts us as much as our patients, and it requires a conscious mind. We must accomplish our own healing so that our compassion and wisdom emanates to all those we touch. Our healing must be intentional, holistic, intuitive, and integral with an open heart; a healing that touches the mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual aspects of all life.

As I continue to grow and flourish, I understand the cause and effect principle of life. People respond to what I do. It becomes much easier to establish relationships with loving-kindness, and improve and eventually dissolve unwanted thoughts and stress. I am more intentional than reactive, and others feel that. I know I do. I feel more confidence in my work, and feel closer to my clients.